MY RESPONSE
awesome,
here is my request…
Draw me as a crime fighter, fighting a furry dragon, that has penguins riding along on its tail…
-d
PS I have lots of muscles and a giant… try to incorporate that into the crime fighting suit…
THE PICTURE
MY RESPONSE
awesome,
here is my request…
Draw me as a crime fighter, fighting a furry dragon, that has penguins riding along on its tail…
-d
PS I have lots of muscles and a giant… try to incorporate that into the crime fighting suit…
THE PICTURE
I call you lovers because you are reading this. Though the thought that you might have stumbled upon this site by accident has crossed my mind, the likelihood of that, is about as low as me training a Russian bear to speak German.
Anyway, I wanted to write a few things down so you kids would have an idea on where my head is.
After the move to Sydney it took a little time to get the internet and everything set up. I feel like its finally grooving. I settled on a M. W. Fri. gradualreport because I can spend more time on each show, I think you guys probably noticed the pictures I put in and hopefully like the direction its going in.
The topics are now being taken from the comments on my page and from the videos themselves.
I used to use twitter but have stopped because I actually hate it. It is the instant consciousness of millions of people all bored or selling shit I don’t want. Like, Brittany Spears there simply is no need for it in my life.
I will be setting my Twitter on a rotation of favorite shows and some of my favorite quotes from shows with suggestions for viewings just so the thing doesn’t die, I do need to keep up appearances.
As far as Australia is going, I like it here and have distinguished myself from the other comedians here. I feel like I have a strong set and will be at the comedy garage for three days next week. Sadly, I won’t be taping it, the only way to see it will be to go to the shows.
Well I might tape some of it…
The comedy DVD has sold an amazing 54 copies, (Amazing simply because the number is low not high), I really worked hard on it and put out some quality material into it. I won’t consider it a failure because the people that did buy it love it and have written the kindest email extolling how great it is. Their emails lead me to think I am on the right track even though only 54 copies have been shipped.
I’m heading back to Los Angeles in July for shits and giggles, hopefully I can get a comedy central deal for a show idea I have. I’d tell you about it but it’s a great idea and you’d sell it to them cutting me out. So I’ll tell you about it after they pass. Then we can watch as they make it anyway without me, cuz that be the show business…
After a visit home in the USA it’s off to Serbia to probably get murdered or something, I don’t know those kids love and hate me. I wonder which side of it will win out when I am there.
I will be posting diary style stuff while I am there on Zastozatokuratc the slavic language comedy channel I started in Australia. It should be awesome.
I am still writing the travel book, it’s going to take years, so don’t hold your breath. Just be assured I am the one writing it, not some ghost writer treading on my name.
The diary channel has changed a bit, I’m tellin jokes there everyday. I don’t really get the comments about me not looking healthy and stuff, I’m as fit as I’ve been since college. I have no idea why people think I’m sickly…
As far as the jokes not being funny on that channel, you should see the shit I don’t share. . .
I’m really just trying to do my silly little best, show you a tiny bit of Australia and tell you a joke or two. I don’t have a staff over here or any help, It’s just a kid with a camera and a dream of making it as a comic.
Well kids that pretty much sums up all the shenanigans i’ve been up to…
thanks for watching and telling your friends about me, I’ll try not to let you down.
-d
JDfanforever
What is the ticklish feeling? why do we laugh when we get tickled? and why are we ticklish in some areas and not ticklish in others? love ya danny <3
MrExhibit
do a video on belly button lint and why we have it!!!!!!!!!!!!
xoXOawesomenessOXox
do a vid about what the social standards are in high school! you know, how to be cool, how to be a loner, how to be a jock.. stuff like that. (^.^)
Ahines1669
Hey brrrooooooo…. u should do a video about why we always tend to look at the toilet paper after we wipe our asses
TheTechyDeck
You tend to take your shirt off a lot in videos dont you..
DarthSarah000
Do a how to survive high school (:
nicatinefreevideos
do one on the do’s and don’ts of a zombie apocolypse
Scheriem
Do one on ways to get back at your husband for beating you, without being sent to jail. I think your awesomely twisted mind could give us just the advice we need. *Evil Laugh
dhsjango
make a video on why is it so hard to keep your eyes open while you sneeze
XRxJOHNNYxRX
Topic: How to give a girl a full body orgasm by just looking at her
zliman8
r
do a show about eyes, can eye color ever change???????
FailToLive
Where does Belly Button Lint come from? And how do you stop it??
Emsikof
Make a video about phone sex in 19th century 0_o
dbzman66874
if my comment gets a lot of thumbs up, danny’s doing a “first time sex” video
ysnmue95
ok we cleared the first date, now do a first time having sex !!! !!!!
paintballeros
can a human cry and at the same time fart and sneeze while ejaculating?
XxxXdead
vagina fart
jimmah13
Keepig with the last video, what should you do when you feel you man beslipping into the “FRIEND ZONE” FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
sirtristan01
my name is Tristan!
michelle77974
I love when you call us lemondrops. Why not do a video on pet names?
As I sit here stuffing my face with cookies I wonder what the future me will feel like. The present me doesn’t give a hoot. He like the taste of cookies, the crumbs that fall on the floor don’t even bother him cause he knows it will be the future him who has to clean it up. The me of the past isn’t too upset either; he feels like the present me has earned it on his good behavior. He swam 6 miles this week, ran 13 miles, worked out and weight trained everyday as well. Surely the past me has earned the cookies for the present. And surely the future me will work off what ever cookies I haven’t yet.
If that doesn’t make any sense, let me explain. I (we) are all 4 people.
The Past You
The Present You
The Future You
The Person you’d like to be.
Now, it gets even dicier if you have friends or parents because you end up being who they want you to be or need you to be as well. So you turn into you and who your mom thinks you are. But assuming you hold true to yourself there are only 4 of you.
The way it should work:
If all four of you are on the same page it is a smooth ride. The present you works hard at achieving the a goal of creating who you are. This hard work becomes what you have done (the past you), giving the present you experience, knowledge, and confidence. Or inexperience, stupidity and insecurity, depending on what you have done in the past.
Some past people eat a bunch of cookies giving the present person a gut or a bunch of calories and the future lots of work to do. Some past people eat right and exercise, giving the present them a great body.
The past you affects the present you. That’s both good and bad news. Bad if you were a lazy ass-hole, good if you aren’t and good if you are because you can change. At any time the present you has the power to change the future you, regardless of what the past you has done.
I ate 9 Tim Tams while writing this, when I am done writing I will go swim another 2 miles and hit the weights in the gym. Some people might say if you were just a little more responsible in the present you wouldn’t have to work so hard in the future to makeup for a shit past.
And there it is.
If I could take from the past that which I need in the present to succeed in the future, I’d be one well oiled machine. And not four people fighting within the one body. But that is the burden of being me.
I know the person I want to be, I won’t let the past me fuck the future me by telling the present me he can’t get back on track. But, I can’t keep the present me from getting too far ahead.
I woke up with an itchy esophagus. It might be the naked cycling I do in the moon light, it might be the TimTam’s finally drowning my immune system with sugar. Either way I need to slow down lest I fall into the same celebrity route that Lindsey Lohan can’t seem to get out of.
In the last few days I’ve applied for a job at a Bike Shop, a Bag Store and a Butcher Shop. Though none of the jobs really appeal to me, my rank and viewership on youtube is declining and forcing me to make financial decisions about selling some of my free time to someone else. I am going to try and post more regularly to see if I can get the views back up and stave off the pure drudgery of labor for a bit longer. in two weeks we will know whether the I need to find a Fucked Job or keep doing my Dream Job.
Since moving into 501/1 Missenden Rd. Camperdown NSW 2050 all I have done is write standup comedy and the ritual nesting (buying dishes and bed linings and shit paper). Now that the furniture is in place and everything seems to be settling down on the housing front I can finally focus on the things that matter to me most.
Making you kids laugh.
Thanks for giving me the opportunity to do the best job in the world,
Danny
PS that camera/iphone thing I had you kids clicking on was a scam, I should have known but I guess I just wanted to believe the lie.
PPS Yes, that’s my real address send me some cool shit or $ if you want. If you google earth it- its the one with the tennis court on the roof-
©2009-2011 GradualReport | Powered by WordPress with Easel | Subscribe: RSS | Back to Top ↑